reality redefined

Our individual grasp of reality is so much uncertain so as to our perception of life. we are outrightly affixed to the concept of piercing a big hole to reality's winding passageway just to escape the harshness of life we cannot contain. we feel the need to find another dimension, impregnable though it may seem, where no one can touch us, whip us, nor molest us not until the plans we kept for so long are all ruined. we defiantly aim to find this alternate world, so our inner rages might subside with ease, so that we will resurface again armed with temporary hope and fidelity. but this world we are claiming was only fabricated by our minds, it is a non-existing dimension, a fictitious dreamland, an abysmal void made from our frustrations and fears that we unleashed as we fled trembling away and weeping.

Our constructed reality is fraught with delusions and dilemma, and we are afraid to know the real definition of the word reality because we are obliged to face the truth, to accept the bitter consequences. however, we cannot really see the bottom line for we already obscured the bright side without any intention of doing so. we are afraid to alight on our escapist's voyage, because we don't know how to resolve the troubles we left behind us. sadly, we can't realize by ourselves that dodging all the imbroglio of our actual existence won't make us any better, we forget that solving our conflicts will make us determined and polished individuals ready to face adventures, difficulties, humiliation and truth. negating the fact of reality and actuality will just make us shrivel with disgrace, and by ages we'll realize that we're making fun of ourselves, just a creature who know nothing but to turn his back away from the real world and cower in fear.

manifestation of love

it's really nice to have someone who admires you that much, who wants to watch the sun set over the horizon together with you, who are used to see you on your peculiarly odd hairdo, who likes every tidbit of what you are. Yes, the assurance of being loved by someone is worth the pain and faith, despite the crumbling of different universes and galaxies, and the unexplained sort of passion that ennobles the very word itself- love. pure and eternal as it could be. we are fed up with the same old songs of flocks of prince charming and damsel in distress, which is which, who is who and what-could-have-been scenario that will all trivially conclude on an overrated sweet, happy ending. the idea is some sort of quixotic and irrelevant, but we enjoy on the imaginative, fantastic course it delivers us. we choose to embark on a spur-of-the-moment journey to discover what is incomplete and what is missing on ourselves, and end up totally exhausted and grief-stricken, only to find out that apparently, no one was there to welcome us, not even a single shadow of a phantasmal creature. We spend most of our precious time to seek that someone who would willingly offer us the radiant moon and the stars, the one who will carry us on their backs to swim across a tormenting, frigid ocean, the one who will stay with us on our sinful exile on Earth. The movies, the books, the media, the society- they already persuaded us that we are in dire need of a partner, our other half, in order for us to survive, to face the multitextured face of life's wickedness, to experience the prescient yet agonizing sentiments that are entrenched inside us. sardonic as it may seem, we will be freed at the time when we already have this someone who are likely to rot and decay together with us. we will be freed by the cuffs of enslavement from human temptation and emotion, time will dissipate into mere vapors, faraway planets will implode to supernovas, as two hearts will turn one. divine. a divine union of two destined creations, sharing the most passionate dreams- candlelit dinners, stargazing while lying on the grass, frolic in the rain, romantic classics, a thrilling roller-coaster ride. God had already predestined and thoughfully set up a complex logistics of all the things. and He cunningly left His proposition to us by finding our pair, whom without them we cannot live life in full and outlast another day. it's really nice to have someone, someone whom you can share a cup of unsweet coffee and enjoy the chilling breeze of the morning...

the prodigy

When I was a grade-schooler sicko, I used to have a vast circle of playmates who know nothing but to play and play and play after the tedious class hours. We would always claim our school's wide open field as our own and we will do our weekday rituals and frolicsome escapades in the unbounded terrain. These friends, I must say, is not even my classmates but I enjoyed their company that much. I call them by funny names, and so are they. I am known by silly names like Tutong, Flashlight, Lens, Onse, Uling and the list goes on. I also gave them the weirdest names they cannot fathom like Aardvark, Silicon, Telon, Baul, Screwdriver, Rubberducky, and so on. Because of my childish passivity that days, i was always bullied by the big guys (only during the classhours) and I never experienced that tyrannic, omniscient feeling of bullying a creature lower than your level. But i don't mind these tormentors burdening me with their homeworks and formal writing notes, because I enjoy doing their works (i still don't know why.) Back to calling my playmates with absurd names, I also labeled my siblings with offending names related to their behavior and appearance. I used to call my big brother La Paz Batchoy, Galis, Boyba, Bob Uy, Peklaters, and my little sister Jaya, Igorot, Marlin, Bobot. That childish manners of mine already vanished a decade ago, but nowadays it is my sarcastic remarks that offend people, and i find it hard to become less tactless. I remembered a college friend who called me an Autistic, and I extracted my vengeance by calling her an Obese-tic (what i am insinuating is obvious.) I always notice flaws and imperfections, I always give harsh critique, but it is okay for me to be given with not-so-good comments and remarks, I don't mind. Eventually, I learned that keeping my mouth shut will absolutely prevent further troubles and I always try to circumvent giving non-sense opinions so that I could feel secure and firm. Expectantly, I am looking forward to gradually shed off these offensive manners, and I believe that the path going to maturity is full of obstacles and tests. Just for now, I am an immature yet intrepid creature searching for the real definition of life...

a break-up story

(Habang kumakain tayo sa paborito nating student canteen, may isang pulutong ng naghuhuramentadong langaw ang nagsidapuan sa ulam na ating pinagsasaluhan)

Ano ba yan, nakakaasar! Bakit ba andaming langaw ngayon!!

Tanga ka ba? panahon kaya ng mangga!!

Eh, ano kinalaman nun sa pagdami nila? Anong sense?

Ewan ko, basta kapag maraming langaw, panahon na ng mangga!

Ah, ganun ba..Hmmm...saan nga bang probinsya yung maraming mangga?

Sa Bukidnon yun. Tanga ka talaga, yun lang, di mo alam...

Sorry ha! I'm not imperfect kasi eh!!!

Tanga, so you mean you are perfect?? Mali-mali pa grammar mo! Umayos ka nga!!!

Bakit, anung mali sa sinabi ko??

Two negatives make a positive! tanga! Parang Math din yan!

Ano?

Ewan ko sa 'yo, basta isa lang ang sigurado ko..tanga ka talaga!!

Ansakit mo namang magsalita..

Hindi kasi ako tangang tulad mo..ewan ko ba kung bakit naging tayo, ako matalino...ikaw tanga...

Bakit ba parati kang ganyan, lagi mo na lang akong inaaway. Kung ayaw mo na sa akin, edi mag-split na lang tayo.

Hoy, kung magsalita ka parang ako yung patay na patay sa 'yo dati, ha!! Sino ba yung mukhang tanga na buntot ng buntot sa akin dati, na ayaw akong tantanan at napakakulit na hingi ng hingi ng cellphone number kahit maling number naman yung binibigay ko, at sobrang obsessed sa akin pati hanggang bahay eh sinusundan ako?

Ano 'to, sumbatan?! Oh, eh sino naman dyan yung akala mo eh may Swiss Bank account sa akin na halos lahat ng gusto nyang bilhin eh binibili ko kahit maubos na ang allowance ko na pang-isang buwan? Na halos magkanda-pili-pilipit na yung katawan sa katuturo ng mga bagay na maganda sa paningin na gustong mapasakanya, at ngangalngal kapag di ko na mabili???

Eh sino naman yung tanga na nagpapatulong sa akin sa thesis work nya, sinu yung tangang yun na subject-verb agreement lang eh halos isang buwan bago nya matutunan, at sinu yung tangang yun na hindi alam ang Newton's Law of Action Reaction at Law of Diminishing Returns??

Kung magsalita ka, akala mo nag-uumapaw ka sa katalinuhan! Eh, sino naman yung tangang nahuli ng pulis na nakikipag-anuhan doon sa dati nyang boyfriend na de-sasakyan sa isang public parking?? At ikinalat pa nga sa internet yung mga pics nila, sobrang nakakahiya!!

Hoy, lalaking tanga. Bawiin mo yang mga sinasabi mo...Kung gusto mong makipaghiwalay, Ok fine! Kung sa tingin mong maghahanap pa ako ng katulad mo, pwes, you are totally mistaken! Hindi bagay ang isang tulad ko na mentally at physically fit sa isang sociopathic misfit na tulad mo!!!

Ha! Komedyante ka pala eh, ang galing mong magpatawa! At sa tingin mo naman, maghahanap rin ako ng katulad mo?? Get lost!

BLAGGG!!!!

(Isang malaking shoulder bag ang tumama sa aking mukha, at ng pag-lingon ko ay naglaho ka na...Habang pinagpipyestahan naman ng buong lugod ng mga langaw ang ulam na kanina lamang ay masaya nating pinagsasaluhan)

random thought

Isn't it nice, that at the end of the day, you'll realize that your very existence is the proximate cause of someone's happiness and contentment in life?

Isn't it nice to know, that before you close your eyes to sleep, you'll be remembered by someone special who's wishing to be there beside you at the very moment?

Isn't it nice, that when you wake up, you have an assurance that you will still be loved by the people who care for you?

Isn't it nice to know, that even if your life is a big blunder, there's this someone who will love you still despite the things you'd done in the past?

Isn't it nice?

philosophical ranting

In philosophic reality, we all are branches of a huge, colossal tree sharing a single sequoia-sized trunk, being nurtured and supported by myriads of humble roots. This gigantic tree speaks of interconnectedness, enigmas and straight circles of absolute comprehension. The macrocosmic marvels and awe-inspiring phenomena that are tied to human stupidity and Godly insights are just mere spoilers of the unfathomable mysteries that cause us to grope in curiosity and conceit. We all are given with the gift of reasoning and fair judgment, yet in some extent we are always losing the big picture, always adhering to the senseless rudiments that in no way can make us neither cleverer nor slier. Of all the magnificent philosophy available for human understanding, we would rather patronize the histrionic tear-jerker, rather than the sensible side of the coin.

We are too much addicted to the delusional drama, the illusory encounter with the unknown, even hooked to the dumbest, cheap puppet shows life could offer. Life is indomitably the cruellest detractor who is running after us on an infinite loop, always ready with confounding surprises and extemporaneous assaults. Despite our so-called trepidation and valiant odysseys, it is us who are always tricked and double-crossed because of our vulnerable disposition—we are prone to the eviscerating sentiments and passion-appealing factors of life-death cycles, symbiotic processes and the exhilarating sight of human downfall.

As we are much subjected to fatuousness and mutual haranguing, the conceptualization of a-little-less-than-perfect philosophy is insofar experiencing fragmentation due to opinionated arrogance of entities claiming for the right answer, the right path, the right way of living. If you cannot conform to the teachings of their incalculable wisdom, you will be accused of unorthodoxy and blaspheming inherited traditions or you will be labelled as a despicable heretic and will be burned at stake because of intellectual imprudence.

In reality, we all are branches of a huge, colossal tree, sharing the singularity of shallowness and acerbic wit of human distinctiveness we all are sharing the same, loathsome trunk of degraded philosophy derived from learned and unlearned men; we all are sharing the same poisonous nutrients already imbibed on our futile, capricious minds.

kitsch of the generation x

Nowadays, the unfettered acceptance of technology and its affiliated modernization already brought a dramatic transition and immeasurable breakthroughs. The things that are already influenced by technology are all bound to progress and further exploration of untapped knowledge is always at hand. But all things in life has distinctly negative ethical paradigm, and I am afraid of the fact that it will hamstring the bare essentials of cognition and understanding (but not at all). Our country is already beset with this negativity I am talking about, take for example the eminence of cellular phones and the internet as a form of communication. Youth these days were too much hooked on the vast gossamer of social and cyber networks and virtual microcosms, the appealing genre of modern-age junks, the deviation from the social, philosophical and intellectual norms. The inveterate usage of short-cut words, the debauched sentence structures, compositions and grammar, the grave and deliberate misspellings, the unintelligible vernacular, - they all consider these as appealing, appropriate and naturally all right, rather than mawkish and incomprehensible. The sense of someone's thought is sometimes lost due to the indiscriminate way of expressing it. There's really nothing wrong how tacky and insubstantial someone's expression is if it is the only way he could only express it, but the problem is that he conformed to the showy, nonsensical kitsch rather than delivering it with practicality and conventionalism.

-,.:;"deEh'kwickque'braUwn'focks'jumpZz'uber'deeh'LaZzie'dawgG.. (+_^)

nang minsang mag-landing ang mga UFO sa earth...

Andami na ngang nagbago...nakakamangha, nakakaasar, nakakaaliw, nakakalungkot. Kung gaano karaming yelo na ang natunaw sa north pole at kung ano nga ba ang majority ng mga basurang itinatapon sa dagat ay hindi ko alam, at hinding hindi ko na malalaman pa dahil wala naman talaga akong balak alamin. Kung ilang mangkok na ng kanin na ang nakain ko at ilang sachet na ng shampoo ang naubos ko simula ng huli kong sinabi na, "sana, lumaki na ako. gusto ko nang tumanda!" ay hindi ko alam, at hinding hindi ko na malalaman pa dahil wala naman akong balak alamin. Pero wala akong maiisip na magandang dahilan para hindi balikan ang nakaraan dahil lubhang napakasayang lasap-lasapin at namnamin yung mga pagkakataon na hindi mo na pwedeng balikan in reality, (except kung meron kang time machine at marunong kang um-access sa mga wormhole). Naalala ko yung batang version ko, na uhugin at gusgusin at walang pakialam kung bakit bughaw ang langit, na mahilig maglaro ng kung anu-ano. May mga bagay talaga at pagkakataon na hindi natin maiiwasan pa at kailangan na lang nating tanggapin..., Yung mga dati kong kalaro, at mga kaklase sa grade-school, andami na ring nagbago- may mga nag-drop-out na at ayaw ng pumasok, yung iba naman, nagtrabaho na, may lumisan ng maaga, may naging teenage moomy at daddy, naging adik, delingkwente, nag-abroad, nagpalit ng sexual orientation at may mga tatlo-tatlo na ang friendster account. Ansaya-saya talagang balikan ang nakaraan, lalo na yung panahon ng ating kamusmusan kung kelan punung-puno tayo ng mga ambisyon, at ang gustung-gusto lang nating gawin ay mag-hagaran upo maghapon, hanggang mag-sawa at mapagod.
May isang guro na nagtanong sa kanyang estudyante, "ano ang gusto mo paglaki mo?" , ang sagot naman ng estudyante, "Teacher po!" "Bakit?" tanong ng guro. "kasi gusto ko pong gamutin yung lola ko na may amoebiasis."